A pagan in hell *If you are an easily offended Chr
ST. Peter asks him, ?May I help you??
The Pagan asks, "Where am I?"
Peter says, "You're at the gates of heaven."
The Pagan says, "But I don't believe in heaven."
Peter frowns at him. "You're one of those Pagans, aren't you?"
"Yes. I believe I'm in the wrong place; I'm supposed to go to Summerland."
Peter says, "Sorry. We took over Summerland, and it's temporarily closed for remodeling."
"What should I do now?"
Peter says, "Well, since we don't allow Pagans in heaven, you have to go to hell. Sorry. Just follow that path that leads downward and to the left."
The Pagan walks down to hell, where the gates are standing open. He walks in and finds beautiful meadows, happy animals, and clear streams of water.
He walks on in and begins exploring, and after a few minutes a courtly gentleman walks up to him and bows politely. "Hello, I'm Satan. You must be the guy that St. Peter phoned me about. Are you a Pagan?"
"Yes, I am. What's going to happen now?"
Satan says, "Well, the fishing's pretty good, if you enjoy that sort of thing. There's a little refreshment stand down the road. And I believe the Pagan meeting grounds are right over the next hill."
Suddenly, a hole opens up in the sky above, and a yawning chasm opens directly underneath it. The stench of sulphur fills the air. Hundreds of screaming, tortured souls drop down into the flaming pit, which immediately closes up with a thud.
The Pagan, hardly believing what he just saw, asks Satan, "And what was THAT ???"
Satan rolls his eyes. "Oh, just ignore them. They're Christians; they wouldn't have it any other way."
Letter to parents of a Pagan child...
I got this from a friend's blog on, I wanted to share with everybody cause I thought it was so cute, and humorous.Blessed Be.
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Thomas,
I write this letter in concern of your daughter, Aradia Moon. Please don't take this the wrong way, however, although she is a straight A student and a very bright child, she has some strange habits that I feel we should address.
Every morning before class, she insists on walking around the classroom with her pencil held in the air. She says she is "drawing down the moon." I told her Art Class is in an hour and to please refrain from then to do any drawing.
And speaking of Art Class, whenever she draws a night sky, she insists on drawling little circles around all the stars and people dancing on the ground. And that brings up dancing, I had to stop her twice for taking off her clothes during a game of Ring Around the Rosey! By the way, what does the term "skyclad" mean?
Aradia has no problem with making friends. I always find her sitting outside during recess with her friends sitting around her in a circle. She likes to share her juice and cookies. It is nice how she wants no one to ever thirst or hunger. However, when I walked over to see what they were doing, she jumped up and told me to stop, pulled out a little plastic knife and started waving it in front of me. I thought this was a bit dangerous, so I took her to the Principal's Office. She explained to the Principal that she was "opening the Circle" to let me in. She also said that her Mommy and Daddy always told her not to play or run with an "athame" in her hand, that she could put someone's eye out. I don't know what an "athame" is, but I am glad that she keeps it at home.
As for stories, your daughter tends to make up some whoppers. Just yesterday while I was talking sternly to Tommy Johnson and shaking my finger at him, he started screaming and ran from the room. When I finally caught him, he told me that Aradia told him and the rest of the class that the last time I shook my finger at someone, they caught the chicken pox. I explained to him that the Sally Jones incident was just a coincidence, and that things like that don't really happen.
One of the strangest things that happened was when I asked the children to bring in Halloween decorations for the classroom. Aradia brought in salt, incense and her family album. I see she has quite a sense of humor. One of Aradia's worst habits is that she is very argumentative. We were discussing what the Golden Rule was (Do Unto others as you would have them Do Unto You), she firmly disagreed with me and stated it was "Do As You Will, but Harm None" and she will not stop saying "So Mote It Be" after she reads aloud in class. I tried to correct her on these matters and she got very angry. She pointed her finger at me and mumbled something under her breath.
In closing, Mr. and Mrs. Thomas, I would like to set up a parent/teacher conference with you sometime next week to discuss these matters. I would like to see you sooner, but I have developed an irritating rash that I am quite worried about.
With Deep Concerns,
Mrs. Livingston
P.S. Blessed Be. I understand that this is a greeting or closing from your country that your daughter informs me is polite and correct.
A Close Friend
Some of the feelings of old,
combinding with some of the feelings of new.
A heart so blue, so cold.
To the feeling of love.
Withered and buried.
Now I am like a freshly bloomed rose.
Thanks to you.
My very close friend.
You embraced me in your arms.
Captured my lips with your kisses.
Our passion grew.
Our bodies shared.
You showed me the way.
Now, where do close friends go
from here ?
Yesterday Love
The love of yesterday, I still feel.
The love I lost, I still crave.
You have captured me in heart,
and soul.
Even know the love I feel for you is old,
my tears are still very new.
I don't know if I will ever love another,
but I do know the love I feel in my heart,
I will feel until my dying day.
I Bequeathed To You........
All I did is bequeathed to you,
the most beautiful of all.
You left professing love,
but you never said good-bye.
You promised to keep it safe from harm,
I trusted you, and like others.
You lied.
How do you love me, then fall
out of love with me all in the same night ?
And why did you hurt me ?
What did I do so wrong?
I don't deserve this.
I bestowed upon you my heart.
All I want from you,
is peace of mind.




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Insight Unicorn09:56 AM CST